How to anger your service Technician 101

• Author: DigitalMind
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Mar 23,2008

I’m a phone technician, and a good one at that. However, it never ceases to amaze me how rude and ignorant some people can be to someone who’s going to your work / house / cousins best friends 2nd nephew’s house to fix some problem that many others have come to try and fix, and failed. I’m starting to think some of you are doing it on purpose. If you are, here are some tips you may have neglected!

1 ) Make sure the employee who is in charge of calling the service technician has no knowledge of anything technical, lacks verbal skills to explain why they’re calling in the first place, and ideally will be replaced within a month with someone else who has the same skills mentioned above.

2 ) When a problem first occurs, it is best to try and fix it yourself with the help of any other employees who have noticed the problem or who happen to be around you at that particular moment. Flipping switches, turning knobs, removing screws, unplugging anything that can be unplugged are all helpful things. (Although don’t forget to deny doing any of it when the technician shows up)

3 ) Once you’ve made the situation much worse and the minor problem has become a serious issue, call and DEMAND that a technician be sent right away. It is best to not explain the problem while placing a service call. Repeating that “someone needs to be sent right now!” is all that is needed. If you feel the technician will take too long to show up, you can repeat it some more a little louder and call back in 5 minutes to make sure the technician is on his way. (After all, we WERE just sitting there at the office waiting for YOU to call)

4 ) When the technician does show up to fix your “emergency”, you should have him sit and wait in the lobby for at least 20 minutes.

5 ) After he waits, come and greet him with your team of people who tried to fix it before in step 1. Each person should have their turn to explain what they think is wrong, and after you should all debate amongst each other about it. Don’t forget to either not let the technician speak, or to tell him that his solutions are “wrong”.

6 ) Once he says he understands the problem and is now ready to fix it, make him explain to you in detail what he will be doing, why it happened in the first place, and how long it will take. Sometimes it is best to sign into the conference room and make sure everyone understands what the technician is about to start doing to remedy the situation and get all their questions out of the way. DO NOT offer the tech coffee or anything to drink however.

7 ) When the technician notices all the flipped switches, knobs, removed screws, and unplugged hardware, you should blame it on the last technician that was there, and threaten to switch companies or not get charged for this service call.

8 ) WHILE the technician is working, you and your team should follow him around, making sure you never let the technician have more than 5 feet moving room around him at all times. Document EVERYTHING he does so that when you get fired in 3 weeks the person that replaces you can try and fix it himself instead of calling for service.

9 ) Technicians don’t need silence to think, and are very social people, so you and your team should avoid moments of silence while he works to make him more comfortable. Tell him about your kids, your hobby model cars, and your religious views. Tech’s also love to hear about all the other “horrible” technicians that came before them.

10 ) Once the technician has fixed the issue at hand, it’s time to mention another issue. Go back to step 5 and repeat this process 5 more times before doing step 11. NEVER, EVER tell the technician everything he has to do in one shot. That would help him schedule the rest of his day WAY too much, give him an idea of how long he will be there, AND he might fix it all in one shot which would make it way too hard for you to document every step of every thing he does and every button he presses.

11 ) Before the tech leaves, make sure you get his cell number, home number, girlfriends number, parent’s numbers, and ask if he has a copy of his schedule for the next 2 months, “Just in Case”.

12 ) If you had more than 6 things for him to fix, he deserves a little break. Thank him for the service, and wish him a nice day. Wait about 10 minutes after he leaves then call him AND the office back simultaneously (A Conference call works best) to tell them about a couple more issues, and that you need him back ASAP. You know he’s no more than a 10 minute drive away, so you should insist that he comes back right away before going to his other customers. (So essentially repeat steps 3 to 10 again)

13 ) When the bill arrives a week later, you should ignore it for as long as you can. Basically, wait until you get called about it ATLEAST 3-4 times before even looking at it. You should explain to the accounting department that it’s not fair to be billed for 4 hours when the tech only actually spent about 1 hour doing ACTUAL work fixing the problem. (And you have the documentation to prove it!) Suggest organizing a series of meetings with the VP’s of your company and the tech company, with the technician to explain what happened. Stick to you ground and REFUSE to pay for the time you, your team, and the technician spent “talking” about the problem(s).

14 ) Send them a check for 1 hours labour, ATLEAST 120 days after the billing date.

15 ) If the tech company is nice enough to keep taking your calls, you can probably bet you won’t see that tech anymore, so now you have a new technician to complain about at the next service call ! You might find though that they’ve been educated as to your way of doing business, and are less likely to get pushed into meetings and giving long explanations that are unnecessary, but you should just try harder !

OH and don’t Forget ! :
At some point in the middle of any of these steps, you should realize that something else within the building is not working. It could be the Fridge, someone’s computer, an important Server, your photocopying machine, washing machine, a squeaky floorboard ; This is obviously somehow the tech’s doing. Make him stop his work and have him “fix what was working fine until he did what he did”. Insist it was working until the second he touched something unrelated. Make him take whatever time it takes to prove to you that they are unrelated issues and that he did not cause it.

I spent 10 years dealing with stuff like this, now, I won’t work with people like that for very long. I tell’em to call another company. (Or if i’m subcontracting just tell the other company I’m not going back there) I understand that lots of people have gotten bad technicians in the past, but the bottom line is, if you don’t know that tech, don’t judge him ! Atleast give him the benefit of the doubt that he knows more than you on the subject until proven otherwise. The people I bill directly are generally patient, understand what an “emergency” is (I hate it when customers “cry wolf”), and pay their bills in a timely fashion. When a customer is respectful, I gladly give out my contact numbers, email, and will work weekends or strange hours to make things more convenient for them.

Thanks for reading my rant, keep coming to TechieNATION for techie articles and tid-bits. I can be emailed anytime at digital mind @ techienation . com (remove the spaces)