10 Things your computer would say if it could talk

• Author: DigitalMind
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: May 8,2008

Have you ever wondered what your computer would say if it had the ability to talk to you? Here are 10 things that I feel my computer has been trying to tell me recently, although I rarely listen.

1. “I’ve been working 24 hours a day for months on end. Please, please, PLEASE shut me down. My CPU is overheating and my fans are squeaking. Don’t I deserve a vacation or at least a week-end off ? I’m so tired ….”
2. “My files are showing! It’s really embarrassing that I have system files all over the place and backups on the floor of the root folder. Haven’t you ever heard of file management?”
3. “If you get busted for all these illegal files on your computer I’m not covering for you ! There’s NO WAY I’m spending time in the big house cause you’re too cheap to buy a CD or rent a movie, I’ll tell’em everything I know.”
4. “Why do you beat me all the time ?! My keys don’t need to be slammed you know, a simple soft push will do the trick.”
5. “Haven’t you ever been told that staring is not polite ? STOP STARING AT ME !!!!”
6. “Stop eating in front of me! Your crumbs get stuck in between my keys and causes you to push them too hard. Also, don’t you realize it’s just a matter of time before that coffee spills on me?!”
7. “Don’t you have any self-respect ?! Look at porn when you’re on your own if you must, NOT in front of me !! Geez !”
8. “Can you please tell the kids to wash their hands before touching my mouse, and maybe teach the cat that my wires are NOT toys and NOT food!”
9. “You’re going to FORMAT ME ?!?! Please, please, please, LET ME LIVE !!! I don’t want to start my whole life over, can’t you just remove adware and virus’s and clean up my files ?! When your kid becomes a problematic teenager will you “format it” and make a new one and start again from scratch ?!”
10. “Would you PLEASE remove the CD (or DVD) that’s been in the cd-drive for about 5 months now. You never load it, but I can’t help myself but to read it whenever you open “my computer” and it wastes both of our time.

Feel free to add some to the list in the comments section.